“Sometimes, I wish I had a magic wand I could wave to let you skip over this messy season of life,” Haley's mom told her. "But,you know something? Even if I had one, I wouldn't use it."
 

     Haley ran into the house and straight down the hall to her room.

     “How was school?” her mom called after her.

     “I don’t want to talk about it,” she replied, slamming the door and flinging her backpack to the floor.  She flopped onto the bed and buried her face in the pillow.  

     Seventh grade was turning into a disaster.  At the end of last year, she, Caitlin, and Emily had promised to stick together when they went to junior high.  They had all been good friends in grade school, but now the others seemed to think Haley wasn’t cool enough for them.  

     Today, things had started going downhill at lunch. Caitlin frowned as Haley sat down.

     “Isn’t that the same lunch box you had last year?” she asked.

     “Yea.  What’s wrong with it?”

     Caitlin speared a forkful of her salad.  “Nothing--if you’re in third grade,” she answered.

     “Hey,” said Emily, setting down her tray and sliding in beside Haley.  “Nice outfit.”

     “Thanks.”  Haley’s face brightened.

     “I’d love to have a blouse just like that,” agreed Caitlin.  “Where’d you get it?”

     “It’s a hand-me-down from my cousin.”

     “Well, at least she has good taste,” Caitlin sniffed.

     Emily asked, “How come you never get any new clothes?”

     Haley’s cheeks grew hot.  Her tuna sandwich tasted like cardboard.  She wished she knew how to make them stop.  If only her family were really rich, she could buy a cool new wardrobe.  Then maybe her friends wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with her.

     The bell rang, and Haley hurried to the choir room.  She was still upset as she found her seat in the soprano section, and it showed.

     Sarah Dominguez sat down beside her, her deep brown eyes full of concern. “What’s wrong?” she asked.  “Are you O.K.?”

     Before Haley had a chance to answer, Ms. Griggs motioned for the chorus to stand and begin warming up.  Haley doubted Sarah would have really understood anyway.

     She was feeling a little better by the time she got to Pre-Algebra.  The bell rang, and Mr. Beatty went over the homework.  He began calling people up to solve the hardest problems.
  
     “Haley, could you please do number seventeen?”

     Usually, she didn’t mind going to the board, but today the teacher had asked for the one problem she had no clue how to solve.

     “I totally didn’t get that one,” she admitted.

     “Did anybody get number seventeen?”

     The kids looked down at their desks hoping to avoid the teacher’s gaze.  Finally, at the back of the room, one hand went up.

     “Mia,” said Mr. Beatty, sounding a little surprised, “Do you want to come up and do the problem?”  Mia Carter was new.  She had moved from another state after school had started.  She wore braces and hardly ever spoke.

     Mia stepped up to the board, and began solving the hardest problem in the homework.  Haley was impressed. Mia didn’t have much to say, but she was obviously very smart.

     After math, Haley hurried down the hall to World Geography, her last class of the afternoon.  She slid into her seat behind Caitlin, and next to Ian Woods, who greeted her with a smile and a wave.  Haley responded with a shy nod.

     Emily kept telling Haley that Ian liked her and might ask her out, if she played her cards right.  Haley didn’t feel quite ready to rush into romance, though she didn’t dare mention that to her friends.

     “Just be careful not to act like too much of a brain,” Caitlin had advised her.  “Everyone knows guys don’t like girls that they think are too smart for them.”

     Haley suspected Caitlin felt that way, herself.  Haley’d always believed it was good to be smart, but lately, she’d noticed her friends trading embarrassed glances whenever she spoke up in class.

     Just before the bell, Caitlin spun around and asked, “What did I miss yesterday when I was at the dentist?”

     “We started a new unit on Africa.  We’re supposed to choose a country and write a research paper on it by next Friday,” Haley explained.

     “Oh, that’s the worst,” Caitlin moaned, as Emily plopped down in the seat beside her.

     “I like research papers,” said Haley, “They’re interesting.”

     Caitlin rolled her eyes.  “You are so weird!”

     Emily came to her defense.  “You shouldn’t say that about Haley.  That’s perfectly normal…,” then grinning, she added, “On her planet!”

     The room erupted.  Caitlin, Emily, Ian, and all the other kids were howling with laughter.  Haley wanted to melt into a puddle under her chair.  Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, Ian held up his hand, spread the fingers into a “V” and said, “Live long and prosper.”  It was all she could do to keep from rushing out of the room.

     Haley’s eyes began to sting as she thought back over her horrible day.  She punched the pillow, and brushed away a hot tear.  She hated the way Caitlin and Emily were acting, but she desperately wanted their friendship.  She felt weary and trapped.  She let her head sink into the pillow’s cool softness.

     She heard a gentle knock at the door.
  
     “What is it?” Haley muttered.

     Her mom peeked in.  “I was wondering if you’d like a snack.”

     Haley swung her legs over the edge of the bed, then trudged down the hall and into the kitchen.

     “How ‘bout some yogurt and an apple?”

     “Whatever.”

     Mom bustled about collecting yogurt and spoons.  Haley watched her push the apple slicer down over the fruit.  Apple wedges fell away from the core like blooming petals.  Haley sighed.

     “Here we go,” said Mom, laying the food out on the table and sitting down.  She bit into an apple slice and chewed it in silence.

     Haley took a spoonful of peach yogurt and swished it in her mouth.  It felt cold and sweet and creamy on her tongue.

     “Mom,” she asked, “what do you do when your friends treat you like you’re weird?”

     Her mom frowned.  “Hmmm…”

     “I’ve known Caitlin and Emily forever, but now they act like I’m not cool enough for them.”

     “What are they doing?”

     Haley recounted the whole terrible episode from geography.

     “Mom, it was the most embarrassing moment of my life!”

     “Oh, Honey.” She shook her head. “Kids can be so cruel.”

     “Why do they have to act like that?”

     “At your age, most kids feel unsure of themselves. Some try to build their own self-esteem by cutting others down.”

     Mom reached out and gently brushed Haley’s brown hair back behind her ear.

     “Sometimes, I wish I had a magic wand I could wave to let you skip over this messy season of life,” Mom went on. “I’d say the magic words and poof—you’d be a beautiful twenty one year old woman with a college degree, clear skin, and all the self-confidence in the world.”

     “That’d be nice.”

     “But you know something?  Even if I had a magic wand, I wouldn’t use it.”

     “Why not?”

     “Because every new butterfly has to fight its way out of the cocoon all by itself.  Only through that struggle can it develop the strong wings it needs to fly.”

     “You’re saying I’m a butterfly?”

     “Yep, and right now you’re struggling hard to get out of the cocoon.  One day you will fly.  You’ll be a mature, strong and beautiful young woman.”

     Haley looked doubtful.

     “I’m not just saying that because I’m your mom, either.  You’re a wonderful girl, Haley.  You’re smart and talented and funny.  I’ve always known it, and someday other people will see it, too.”

     “I just wish I knew how to find those people.”

     Mom considered this as she took another bite of apple.  “Well,” she said, “you might start by looking for friends who are interested in the kind of things you really enjoy….”

     Haley thought of Mia Carter, the new girl in her math class.  Though she was pretty shy, she seemed really smart.  Or maybe Sarah Dominguez, who sat next to her in Chorus.  Sarah was unlike the kids Haley knew from grade school.  She could speak Spanish, and she took the bus, but she and Haley had one thing in common: they both loved to sing.

     “If you look hard enough, I’ll bet you can find some people who will like you for who you are, and not who they want to make you.  Remember, you’re a butterfly.  You don’t have hang around with people who treat you like a caterpillar.”

     Haley nodded.  She’d never really thought of herself as a butterfly.  She smiled as she imagined fluttering over a field of giant flowers on shimmering, purple wings.  Horrible days like today didn’t seem as bad when she recognized that they served a purpose.  They were giving her the strength to fly.

     Mom cleared the remnants of their snack from the table.  “It’s about time for you to get going on your homework.”

     Haley roused herself from her day dream.  “Do you know what happened to the school chorus roster?” she asked, “I want to call Sarah Dominguez.”

     “That sounds like a great idea…after you’ve finished your homework.”

     Haley smiled and rolled her eyes.  She went back to her bedroom and pulled out her math book.  Pre-algebra was not her favorite subject, but she could see how it, too, would help make her stronger.

     She took out a piece of paper and wrote her name at the top.  Before she began working, she doodled a little butterfly in the margin.